September 23 2014, 2.57 am
If
and only if
our path crossed again someday,
my answer will always be the same.
If
and only if.
September 29 2014, 1.56 am
September 27 2014, 10.37 pm
I'm 23.
11 months ago, I received a certificate, which written as "the degree of Bachelor Of Engineering (Electrical) ".
4 months before that, I returned home after packing my things, cleaning up my room in Kolej Tuanku Canselor, Universiti Teknologi Malaysia. I returned the key to the office and bid farewell to my friends.
4 years before, it was my first time in Johor. Which is the day that I registered as the first year student. We look around the UTM and the faculty. And I cried after waving goodbyes to my family.
2 months before that, I left Kolej Matrikulasi Kedah. My family and I went to Penang. It was my second time actually. The first time was when I was still a baby. Ican't remember anything. It was a trip from my father's company. By the way, I still have exam on that day. An exam to enter Universiti Sains Malaysia, but I forgot its name. We're the first batch to sit for the paper. Around 12 pm or so, my family and I left KMK. And I never return there until now. In fact, I never return to Kedah for years.
11 months before that, I enter KMK. It's officially my first journey to leave home to study. I heard that my ex-classmates enter UiTM in Shah Alam, which is just a few minutes from our previous secondary school. Some of them will go to Malacca for Asasi, Penang for Diploma, private college, Form 6 in ACS Klang etc. I was the farthest. Just a few kilometers from Malaysia-Thailand borders. Of course, I cried when abah and mama left. I have nobody there. Nobody.
A month before, I'm in dilemma. Either KMK for Physical Science or UIAM with Asasi in Science. I called my uncle, because he's so wise. He asked me, what is my ambition. To be honest, I feel lost. I don't know where to go. I got lots of opportunities and one of the brightest student in my school, yet I have no idea what I wanna be in the future. So, he suggested that I should choose KMK. Well, UIAM is not that bad, and it's in Gombak. I can return home every week if I want to. But it's Science. And I think I like Engineering more than Science. Because my Physics, Chemistry, Math and Add Math are my strongest asset.. Besides, numbers and calculations are my passions. I always believe that I will have more opprtunities in engineering career. And one more thing: my father was a technician, my aunt is also an officer for the techinicians, and my uncle himself is an engineer. So, basically, engineering is in my blood. But that doesn't mean I hate Science. So, I chose KMK.
A month before that, I received my SPM result with flying colours. Everyone says "Congratulations!". I met my teachers. I met my friends. My friends and I went to Mid Valley and we watched a movie and did lots of things together.
4 months before that, it was my last of SPM exams. I think it's Biology Paper 3. And we have our own 'merdeka' time. No more books to study, and we gathered in front of the school for the very last time. Well, it's not really the last day that we gathered as classmates, because we need to return our SPBT text books weeks after that. I retuned home by taking a bus. i arrived home, and watch the tv with my siblings. I love the Spring Waltz in TV2 (a Korean drama. One of the four seasoned theme love drama like Autumn in My Heart, Winter Sonata and Summer Scent). I think it was the first day that Aeon Bukit Tinggi open for public, but I can't remember the exact date. My family aand I went shopping. Oh, no more school after this. And I'm gonna miss the moment. My secondary school was SMK Telok Gadong, Klang, Selangor.
5 years before, I came to my primary school for the last time, as it was our final day of school. I realised that most student have took their UPSR results a day before. I didn't know that it came out yesterday. So I just walked in a corridor and saw some students standing besides a board and reading something. I also take at the papers, and my goodness! I was one of the seven students who scored 5As. I called my mum, and she was shocked, and congratulates me. And I received RM100 from the school as a concolation prize. The teacher said, "Kecil-kecil cili padi, dipersilakan adik (put my real name here)". Then I go to the stage to take the money. I was 120 cm and 20 kg. Quite small for 12 years old student. One of the smallest student in the school. Some students called me with 'Pendek', 'Ketot' and something like that. (This is one of the reason why I have a low self esteem attitude until now. It comes from my physical appearence, which develops as trauma. I scared to lots of things.) And I bid farewell to my friends, of course.
6 years before that, I t was my first day of school. Indeed, I'm a small person. I have some problems with my eye, which forces me to wear spectacles when I was in Standard 2. Because I can't see anything on the blackboard, I'm easily got frustrated and I don't want to copy anything whatever the teacher writes. I think there's a lot of discussions between the teachers, they decided to change my place to the front. I got a new group, and try to blend in with them. And thanks to teachers involved, and those who diagnosed me with eye-sighted problem, I became who I am today. I'm totally grateful. My primary school was Sekolah Kebangsaan Sungai Udang, Klang, Selangor.
September 16 2014, 1.35 pm
After spending 473 hours and 43 minutes (that is, almost 20 days consecutively) in Pokemon HeartGold, this is what I got.
September 17 2014, 1.01 am
Entri yang lepas, saya ada tulis tentang Germany atau negara Jerman.
And they're so proud with their German (bahasa Jerman).
Tiba-tiba saya terfikir tentang satu soalan.
"What is that first German word that you can remember, which you can relate to yourself?"
Saya bantai gelak sorang-sorang.
Jawapan saya:
"German measles"
Okay la tu. Ada la bunyi German-ish kat situ. Hahaha.
German measles ni lebih popular dengan nama rubella.
(Sebutan measles ni macam bunyi Mizz-Ell)
Macam demam campak, tapi tahap bahaya dia tak seteruk demam campak.
Ada bintik-bintik merah kat muka, dan perlahan-lahan turun ke kaki.
Lepas dua minggu, dia hilang sendiri.
Saya pun tak tahu mana datangnya penyakit ni, tiba-tiba dah berjangkit.
Waktu tu, masuk study week semester keenam.
Saya ada presentation untuk subjek Picom (Principle of Communication)
Habis satu badan kena sarung macam nangka.
Tangan pun pakai glove/mitten masa main ice skating kat Sunway Pyramid dulu.
Mulut pun kena cover dengan penutup.
Saya malas nak ambik MC, tu yang gagahkan jugak buat presentation.
Alhamdulillah, setakat yang saya tahu, takde siapa terjangkit sebab saya.
Memang tak seronok la kalau dah dapat penyakit ni.
Terpaksa mengasingkan diri dari orang lain.
Doktor ada bagi losyen calamine. Dan ubat-ubat lain.
But, look at the bright side, I learned a new German word. Heh.
Danke.
~Natural Cure~
September 16 2014, 12.55 am
Hari ni saya nak berkongsi beberapa perkara penting tentang duit.
Lepas beberapa peristiwa yang berlaku baru-baru ni, saya tergerak untuk berkongsi tentang isu ni.
Cuba tengok kad ATM kita yang dalam dompet tu.
Cari nombor telefon customer service atau khidmat pelanggan.
Salin nombor tu dan letak dalam handphone.
Kalau ada anak-anak atau suami atau isteri, mintak diorang simpankan sekali nombor tu.
Kalaulah satu masa nanti ada orang curi dompet kita, cepat-cepat call nombor tu.
Kemudian mintak diorang block kad ATM tu.
Sebabnya, takut pencuri tu sempat ambik duit kita dalam bank.
Saya percaya kes ni kerap berlaku.
Soal macam mana pencuri tu dapat nombor pin kad ATM tu, saya tak tahu.
Selain kes kecurian, kalau ada apa-apa masalah tentang duit dalam bank, call je customer service ni.
Biasanya diorang ni 24 jam.
Satu lagi kisah pelik yang berlaku kat seluruh Malaysia.
Kalau kat masjid atau surau, biasanya mesti ada tabung, kan?
Orang yang simpan hasil derma tu biasanya jumpa duit RM50 (atau lebih) yang bergulung dalam RM1.
Mungkin kita akan kata dia nak derma RM50, tapi tak nak orang tahu.
So, dia gulung RM50 dalam RM1.
Cerita lain yang saya dengar, ini sebenarnya salah satu kaedah nak 'sedut' duit masjid.
Diorang ni pakai benda halus la agaknya. Wallahualam.
Ada jugak kes guna mata je nak pukau orang.
Yang ni pun popular sebenarnya.
Bagi yang pernah kerja kat kaunter mungkin lebih berpengalaman la.
Daripada pandangan mata je, yang kena pukau terus tak ingat apa-apa.
Tahu-tahu je duit dah lesap.
Even Nabi Muammad s.a.w. pernah sebut tentang kewujudan sihir mata, atau 'Ain'.
Tujuan saya utarakan cerita ni, sebenarnya takde kaitan la dengan saya.
Setakat ni, saya tak pernah hilang kad ATM ataupun kena pukau.
Cuma ni jadi satu pesanan la untuk kita semua.
~Natural Cure~
September 11 2014, 10.37 pm
I think, everyone deserves the truth.
Firstly, I want to apologies to these people:
1. Zufar
2. Shah
3. Amin
4. Yana
5. Suhaila
6. Aimi
because I didn't reply any of their messages since my disappearance for almost a year.
And everyone keeps asking me the same question.
- Dah macam CIA mencari Jason Bourne je gayanya.
Anyway, thank you for trying to reach me.
I do appreciate them.
So here's the truth.
Kepada yang dah banyak kali tanya, saya tengah nak buat apa sekarang ni,
Ni jawapan saya.
1. Tengah belajar bahasa Jerman. Belajar dari buku, video, and maybe masuk kelas kat Goethe-Institut. Sebab nak dapatkan German language proficiency certificate. Kena ambik exam diorang yang dipanggil TestDaF. Macam MUET la agaknya kat Malaysia ni. Mungkin akan ambil TOEFL sekali. Tengoklah macam mana nanti.
2. Kumpul duit. Lebih kurang 15 816 euro. (sama dengan RM 65 313.79). Mintak pengesahan banyak pihak, dan bukak akaun kat Germany.
3. Buat permohonan dan tunggu surat kemasukan kat universiti kat Germany. Tapi tak decide lagi nak ambik bidang apa. Maybe Mechanical engineering. Electrical engineering pun ok je sebenarnya.
4. Buat Visa. Lepas tu fly ke Germany. Sambung Master. Most probably in Master in Science (M.Sc.), bukan Master in Engineering (M. Eng.) sebab M.Sc boleh sambung Ph.D.
(Pada masa yang sama jugak saya tengah belajar bahasa Perancis, Jepun, Korea. Tapi jangan mengharap sangat la saya pandai cakap bahasa-bahasa ni. Tengah merangkak lagi.)
Benda ni, bukan jadi jadi dalam satu malam.
Ambik masa la jugak semua ni. Saya target dalam 5 tahun.
Banyak gila duit 'terbuang'... Tak rasa rugi ke?
Saya pernah pegang duit lagi banyak daripada ni.
Dan saya lebih faham sangat apa maksud 'terbuang'.
Bagi saya, ini bukan pembaziran, tapi pelaburan.
Kalau buat kenduri guna duit ni, atau shopping handbag atau kasut, atau modify kereta,
- ini baru membazir namanya. Kehendak melebihi keperluan.
Tak rasa menununjuk-nunjuk ke?
I think, istilah menunjuk-nunjuk tak sepatutnya ada.
We,as a Muslim, kenalah tunjuk yang kita ni boleh berdiri sama tinggi dengan diorang.
We have our own class. Cuba ingat balik apa yang berlaku sebelum Renaissance.
Di mana kedudukan Islam waktu. Dan apa yang berlaku kepada umat Islam hari ni.
Lepas grad sibuk melancong. Lepas tu kahwin. Beranak-beranak dan beranak.
Tak nak sambung Master atas dasar komitmen kerja dan keluarga.
Where's the thrill? Where's the spirit?
Kenapa semangat nak mencabar dunia tu hilang?
Cuba lihat kat mana Fynn Jamal hari ni.
Dia kat sana atas pilihan dia sendiri.
Saya memang respect gila dengan beliau.
Itulah kuasa minoriti. Diorang ni lebih berani untuk menjerit.
Sebab tu, saya pilih jalan yang tak berapa mainstream ni.
Indeed, there are lots of things I need to sacrifice.
But I'm ready.
Nabi Muhammad s.a.w. pernah bersabda (yang maksudnya):
"Barangsiapa yang menempuh suatu jalan untuk mencari ilmu pengetahuan, maka Allah akan mempermudahkan baginya jalan menuju ke syurga."
(Muslim, Abu Daud, Turmizi dan lain-lain)
Kenapa nak pergi Germany? Sebab kat situ la lahirnya ramai jurutera bertaraf dunia. Ada la jugak cita-cita nak kerja kat sana, dan buat part-time for PhD. (kalau ada peluang.). Even balik sini pun takpe. Boleh curahkan ilmu kat generasi yang lebih muda. I'm always a Malaysian in my heart.
Antara nama orang-orang hebat tu ialah Bacharuddin Jusuf Habibie, atau lebiih dikenali sebagai B.J. Habibie, Presiden Indonesia ketiga. Seorang jurutera aeroangkasa yang berjaya mencipta kapal terbang buatan rakyat Indonesia sendiri. Sebab ada orang macam beliau la.industri penerbangan kat Indonesia lebih maju sebenarnya daripada di Malaysia. Boleh tonton filem 'Habibie dan Ainun' kalau nak lebih kenal siapa beliau.
Satu lagi nama yang saya boleh bagi ialah Wan Nazri Wan Aria. Beliau la 'kickstart' yang buat saya rasa tergerak untuk ke Germany. Royal Clock Tower kat Mekah tu antara hasil usaha beliau. Boleh baca banyak lagi la kat Internet.
And lastly, arwah ayah sendiri. Pernah satu ketika, ayah saya diberhentikan kerja sebab ekonomi syarikat tak stabil. Selepas beberapa bulan menganggur, ayah saya dipanggil oleh kawan beliau untuk bekerja bersama beliau. Seminggu lepas mula bekerja, ayah saya diterbangkan ke Germany untuk training pasal mesin. Walaupun pekerja baru, majikan percaya kat beliau sebab diorang tahu ayah saya ada pengetahuan mendalam tentang mesin. Bila balik, arwah abah selalu cerita pengalaman beliau kat Germany, and his own Eurotrip. Saya nak jadi macam ayah saya.
Even kalau tak dapat fly pun, saya tak kisah. At least saya dah cuba untuk ke sana. Kat Malaysia pun banyak je universiti yang offer sambung belajar. Saya sekadar teringin nak tukar selera. Kat Germany ada musim bunga, musim panas, musim luruh dan musim sejuk. Kat Malaysia ada musim tengkujuh, musim durian, dan musim rambutan. Hahaha.
And I hope these will answer all of your questions.
Thank you.
Ich liebi dich. (kikiki)
~Natural Cure~
